Metrics, Meetings, and Minor Inconveniences That Ruin Everything

Dysfunctional teams, burnout questions, and free books you didn’t know you could get

I swear, every time I'm out on the water, my mind starts drifting away from the pain, and I have all these great bits to share, then with the next stroke, they've fluttered out of my head, never to be remembered again. Now I’m writing these without any material... Fuck it, we’ll do it live.

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The head coach vs. assistant coach dynamic

One’s the pusher. One’s the supporter. When they’re aligned, it works, but when they’re not, it’s chaos for the team. Conflicting messages, changing priorities, a constant game of good cop/bad cop, and the feeling that they’ve somehow ended up with two bosses.

If that dynamic sounds familiar, here’s my advice: the more supportive person should be the one working directly with the team, and the “head coach” (who I'm assuming is less people-centric) should work through the assistant coach to set direction and priorities. Don’t let your team get caught in the middle of a leadership split. That’s not alignment, it’s dysfunction, your team knows it, and your business feels it.

The bottom-dollar death spiral

Maybe it's pessimism creeping in as I get older, but it feels like our society is racing to the bottom in a few ways. We are caring less about the quality of our products, focusing more on the Pareto Principle. If we can’t clearly measure the ROI, businesses won’t do it.

Why offer great customer service when that raises your overhead and slows down the churn? Why make a quality product when you can sell a cheaper version and have consumers rebuy it in a year?

Of course, there are exceptions, but the general vibe feels like: if you can’t prove it helps the bottom line this quarter, it’s a waste. And that’s how you end up with glitchy apps, lifeless products, and no one to talk to when things break.

Am I the awkward one?

...probably, but ending a phone call shouldn’t take 45 seconds

“Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“Nope, that’s everything.”

“Okay, well, thank you and have a great rest of your day.”

“Thanks, you too!”

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye-bye now.”

“Bye.”

...and that's a fairly efficient one; they didn't even try to upsell me services. Why are there seven steps to hang up the phone? I feel like Kevin from The Office, but there has to be a more efficient and yet semi-polite way to end these things.

Free books and hacking!

Here's a hot tip for ya (and it's not even the 8th bit): Some public libraries let you register online even if you don’t live in the area. No tricks, no fees (usually), fill out a form and boom - free access to ebooks, audiobooks, movies, and more.

Some of my favorites I've been using (that aren't my local libraries): Queens Public Library, Tacoma Public Library, Inglewood Public Library, and Santa Ana Public Library. Get a card, hook it up to Libby, and dive in!

Metrics kill motivation

You know what ruins a perfectly enjoyable activity? Measuring it.

Mandatory school reading didn’t turn most of us into lifelong book lovers. If anything, it killed the joy of reading for years. The second something fun gets tied to output, performance, an essay, or a report card, it turns into a job.

The same thing happens in adulthood. Hobbies turn into hustles, and skills turn into KPIs. The old cliché about “don’t turn what you love into your job” kind of holds up; not because you shouldn’t pursue meaningful work, but because spreadsheets and annual reviews really suck the joy out of things. If only we could focus more on intrinsic motivation in our everyday lives...

Getting kids socialized in a digital world

How do we do this? Especially if you’re homeschooling some/all of them. Sports help, and maybe you have neighborhood kids who treat your house like a 2nd home. So much of childhood now happens online, and even if you limit screen time, their peers are still soaking in it. You try to protect them from it, but also don’t want them to be the kid at the sleepover who doesn’t know what a Roblox is. The other side is that families seem so overscheduled, you have to plan 6 weeks in advance to have an 'impromptu play date'.

It’s a weird tightrope to walk: socializing them without fully plugging them in. Some days, I wonder if I’m giving them a better shot or just a different kind of disadvantage.

Fix the damn thing

If you’ve got a tiny annoyance that pops up every day, fix it. Don’t just power through. Don’t build tolerance for pain that’s avoidable. Start a job and notice a small rock rattling around in your shoe? Stop and take it out. Tired of clicking through 5 different folders to get to the one you access constantly? Set up the damn shortcut.

Have to click through five tabs every time to get the same report? Automate it or make a bookmark.

You are allowed to make your life easier, and don't have to grit your teeth and deal with annoyances. Minor friction adds up. Future you will be grateful.

Interview questions to surface culture

Considering how many people are job hunting these days, how about we end this on some culture-specific questions to ask in interviews to try and land a place that doesn't completely burn you out.

A lot of companies have rehearsed answers for the usual “tell me about your culture” questions. These ones cut through the noise a bit more. Ask them in your next interview, or maybe reflect on how you’d answer them if you’re a leader.

• What do your 1:1s look like? What gets discussed?

• Your team has to stay late to meet a deadline. What do you say? Do you stay late too? Buy them dinner?

• You're in the middle of writing an intense and important email, and an employee comes up to your desk & asks if you have time to chat. What do you say?

• Do you recognize birthdays or work anniversaries? How?

• One of your employees takes three 20-minute breaks plus phone calls. How do you approach it?

• You have a question for someone down the hall. Do you email them? Walk over? Message them?

• You hear secondhand that people are frustrated with a process you rolled out. What happens next?

• What’s your stance on weekly all-hands meetings? And why?

If you’re job hunting, save this list. If you’re hiring, ask yourself how your team would answer, and whether that matches what you want the culture to be.

Anyone else have good interview questions to share?

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Ok, this one feels a bit more work-heavy than parenting, but that's how the cookie crumbled this week. Tides change, and so do I, ok?! Get yourself a library card and read a book!

Not forgetting the sign-off this week,

//Trevor